I had had a passionate affair with someone very different from myself. I decided I should be more open to various types of men. I submitted my profile and photos to an online dating service. Wanting to be brave and honest, I mentioned I enjoyed making love and the messiness of sex. This struck a chord. Often respondants assumed if they liked me, fait accompli.

Due to my age, 63, and my home, Florida, many were retirees. I received messages from men holding up large fish. Quite a few were avid golfers. Some were handsome, rich, intelligent. Yet the constellation frequently featured conservatives in gated communities. One mentioned he had lived in Harlem and befriended Huey Newton, but now he preferred his bedroom community of Pensacola Naval Air station. Military industrial complexity. For me this would be unsafe, a prison.