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 The Half-Muffled Clappers in RealAudio Note: The accompanying audio track is an excerpt from the sounds used by Tony Kemplen to generate the text. Avocado/Avvocato in RealAudio Note: The accompanying audio track is an excerpt from the CD of the altered text being performed by a speech synthesiser. Tony recommends these online literary links. |
The Half-Muffled Clappers by Tony Kemplen
Airplane valuers truly ruler,
Closer digital telephone persist
Clothing lower, alas carrying
Calamitous parallel slowly talented efficacy
Foolishly powerlessness suspense
Asteroid adversary panacea
Eat
Commander caretaker tutorial
Cadet telephoning carelessness
Confession dot says disbelief chief
Japan past stand-up comedians
Amazon vested illusion fashioned fulsome person
Applicable sanguine finance pinpoint
Fanfare thunder herself first successful
Puzzlement panelling panic
Ancient in essence dangers personable
The novel the uneven provision
As their own party remains alive
Severe lovable as covering items in height
Possessive of those lacking Viva
Pointedly reflective observers
Heave with concerts
Wrenching an injury to themselves
Royal fusion infrequent
Discipline his thigh thicker abstention
Slightly contrived ideal philanthropist
Sense of loss worship dilution
Calvin Klein survivors have a Mafia figures
Full fanfare yesterday
Forcefully carefree curving
Carriage drive-puzzlement-professors
Bath assimilation ill-advised
Healthy finances the violent hovering
Advisers adventurous proliferate acquires
Palace physiology leave relevance
Divisional shots clear market vehicles
Shaved ticket athleticism impressive
Career as illogical vaudeville level
Where whichever party for photographers two-year vehicles
Paper situation fee composer unequivocal cavalier
Life-size theatrical and unusual build
Cautionary anomalous, other paper diver
Hansard fugitive, fugitive civil
Dismissive icon laundering
Unconstitutional to the confessional Volvo
Impose the formal arson with his house
Have consumer groups save avocado arriving
Newcomer limousine redeployment small dip
Yes, manoeuvred also are all reason pass
Informal London Dance services,
Merely reindeer rave
Kick-off were vacancies champion upheaval,
Heath humanism would finance in Rome
Above envelope so some five survivors
Hearing cucumber service constructive lyrical
Sunlit feline character tortoise
Councillors abolish cynicism tummy future
Allied forces are now cottage trawlers
Glistening home consumption commander
Puzzlement becomes almost tangible
Confusion pages saucepan attack
Fences keyboard shouldn't
Happier timesAuthor's note: The Half-Muffled Clappers -- A poem made by feeding the background sounds (horse's hooves, applause and half-muffled bell clappers) from Princess Diana's funeral into a computer voice recognition programme. The words generated from this non-verbal input have an unexpected resonance. The IBM Voicetype speech recognition package will attempt to make words out of any sound. I first tried singing or whistling to it, then playing various natural and man made noises into the microphone. The computer "guesses" at which word may be being spoken, but each word is not taken in isolation, the speech recognition engine has a database of words which may occur in close proximity, together with the probabilities of this happening. The result then, is not quite a series of random words, but of guesses taking into account the chances of certain words coming together. This of course is a culturally specific database, and so seemingly meaningful phrases occur quite frequently. It has been asserted by various commentators and politicians that Diana's death marked some kind of sea change in the attitudes of the British people, some of these attitudes may be glimpsed in this poem which, remember, has a predominantly non-verbal source. Phrases such as "Amazon vested illusion, fashioned fulsome person" and "glistening home consumption commander" are thrown up by the computer, programmed to search for coherent juxtapositions of words, using a lexicon reflecting society's language use at the end of the 20th century. The software inadvertently critiques the society that spawned it. Avocado/Avvocato by Tony Kemplen COUNCIL DIRECTIVE 93/104/EC of 23 November 1993 concerning certain aspects of the organization of working time THE COUNCIL OF THE EUROPEAN UNION, Having regard to the Treaty establishing the European Community, and in particular Article 118a thereof, Having regard to the proposal from the Commission(1) , In cooperation with the European Parliament(2) , Having regard to the opinion of the Economic and Social Committee(3) , Whereas Article 118a of the Treaty provides that the Council shall adopt, by means of directives, minimum requirements for encouraging improvements, especially in the working environment, to ensure a better level of protection of the safety and health of workers; Whereas, under the terms of that Article, those directives are to avoid imposing administrative, financial and legal constraints in a way which would hold back the creation and development of small and medium-sized undertakings; Whereas the provisions of Council Directive 89/391/EEC of 12 June 1989 on the introduction of measures to encourage improvements in the safety and health of workers at work(4) are fully applicable to the areas covered by this Directive without prejudice to more stringent and/or specific provisions contained therein; Whereas the Community Charter of the Fundamental Social Rights of Workers, adopted at the meeting of the European Council held at Strasbourg on 9 December 1989 by the Heads of State or of Government of 11 Member States, and in particular points 7, first subparagraph, 8 and 19, first subparagraph, thereof, declared that: COAADOV DAACOOVVA 93/104/AC od 23 Oovaacdo 1993 coaadovaac doovaac doovcaa od ova oacdovaacdoo va aocdova acdo OVA COADOVA OA CDO VAAOCDOV AACOD, Ovvaac dooaad co ova Acdoov aacdoovaacdo ova Acdoovaa Codovaacd, oov aa cdoovcaado Ovaacdo 118o vaacdoo, Vavacd ooaacd oo vaa cdoovaac doov aac Doovaacdoo(1) , Va cooadvaacod ovaa cdo Ovaoacdo Vaacdoovaa(2) , Cdvooa acdoov ao acd ovaacod ov aac Doovoaac dov Aocado Voaacdova(3) , Acdoova Acdoova 118a oc dov Aacdoo vaovadco aacd oov Coaadov aacdo ovoaa, cd ovaac od ovaacdovoa, acdoova acdoovaacdoo voa acdovaacdoo vaacovdoaacd, oovacadoov aa cdo ovaacdo ovvaaocdoaa, co dovaac d oovaac dovoa oa cdovacadoo va acd oovaac doo vaacdo ov aoacdov; Aacdoov, aadco ova acdoo va acdo Ovaacdo, ovoaa dcovcaavdo oaa co dvoad acoovaac doovaacdoovava, cdooacado ovd aacoo voaacdovaac do o vaa cdoov aoacd ovad acoo vaa cdoovaoa cdo vavacodoaac od ovaac doo vadaco-ovaad coovaacdoova; Acdoova acd oovvaacodo oa Coadvaa Dcoovaavc 89/391/DOO oa 12 Acdo 1989 va acd oovaodacovoa oa cdvaacdo ov aacodovaa cdoovvaacdoo aa cdo ovaacd oov aacdoo va aocdova ac doov(4) aac doova acdoovaacd oo vaa cdoov covaado aa cdoo Vaacdoova acdoova acdoovaca do ovaa cdoovaacd oov/oa acdovaac doovaacodo voaacdovd aacoova; Acdoova acd Oovaacdoo Vaacdoo va acd Oovdaacoova Aocdov Aacdoo va Aocdova, adocovd aa coo vaacdoo va acd Oovoaacd Ovaacdo ovad ac Oovaacodov oa 9 Dacovaac 1989 do ova Acdoo va Acdoo va oa Covdaacdoo va 11 Acdoov Aacdoo, vad ac oovaacdoov aoacdo 7, vaacd oovaacdoovaa, 8 cdo 19, ovaac doovaacdoova, acdoova, dacoovad acoo: Article 5 Weekly rest period Member States shall take the measures necessary to ensure that, per each seven-day period, every worker is entitled to a minimum uninterrupted rest period of 24 hours plus the 11 hours' daily rest referred to in Article 3. The minimum rest period referred to in the first subparagraph shall in principle include Sunday. If objective, technical or work organization conditions so justify, a minimum rest period of 24 hours may be applied. Aacdoov 5 Aacdoo vaac doovod Aacova Acdoov aacdo ovaa cdo ovaacdoo vacadoova ao cdovaa cdoo, vaa cdoo vavac-doo aacdoo, vvaac dooaac do ovaacdoo vo a acdovaa cdoovaacdoovd aaco ovaaod oc 24 voaac dova acd 11 oovaa' dcoov aacd oovaacdo ov aa Cdoovaa 3. Cdo ovaacdo ovaa cdoovd aacoovad ao co vaa cdoov aacdoovaacdo ovaac do ovaacdoov aacdoov Aacdoo. Va oacdovava, cdooaacdo ov aoac odvaacdoovoa coadvaaocd ov aacdoov, a acdoova acdo ovaaod oc 24 voaac dov aa cdoovad. Article 6 Maximum weekly working time Member States shall take the measures necessary to ensure that, in keeping with the need to protect the safety and health of workers: 1. the period of weekly working time is limited by means of laws, regulations or administrative provisions or by collective agreements or agreements between the two sides of industry; 2. the average working time for each seven-day period, including overtime, does not exceed 48 hours. Acoovaa 6 Cdoovaa cdoova aocdova acdo Ovaacd Oovaac doova acdo ova acdoovaa cdoovaacd oo vaacdo ovaa, cd oovaacd oova acd oovd ao acovaca doo vaacdo ovd aacoov oa aocdvaa: 1. cdo ovaaod oc vaacdo ovaacdo ovaa cd oovaacd oo vaacd oo vaac, doovaacdoov oa adcovaacdoovva acodoaaocd ov aa codovcaavd ooaacdoova oa cdovaacdoo vaacdoo vaa cdo ovdaa oc ovdaacoo; 2. vaa cvdooaa codovaa cdoo voa acdo vavac-doo aacdoo, vacadoova ovacdoaa, doco voa acdovd 48 aoaco. Author's note: Avocado/Avvocato (Audio CD and booklet) -- Avocado/Avvocato (Audio CD and booklet) - work made as part of 'Challenging Rooms', in which members of the artists group utk made work in the homes of people who had responded to an advert in the local paper. Two elements of Kate's home drew me in, the large number of avocado stones and the European Working Times Directive, with which she was working. The entire text of this legal document was reset using only the letters A,V,O,C,A,D & O, substitution being made when a letter was not available from this esoteric virtual printing set. The result was read out by an Italian speech synthesiser, a choice driven by the wordplay of Avvocato, an Italian lawyer, and Avocado the household's favourite fruit. Despite valiant and persistent efforts, the word avocado never actually occurs in the 45 minute speech monologue.
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