''The Secret Relationships of Semicolons''
For Dr. Michael Rabby, who knows that semicolons suck worse than Dodgers and you should never use them:
''Independant clauses:'' (you stick two complete sentences together and imply a relationship.)
(text-colour:cyan)[(cycling-link:"You can't imagine being a Dodgers fan during a nail-biting playoff game",
"You never attempt to explain a Dodgers loss to a rival fan",
"You lost your voice after cheering for the Dodgers at a game, only to realize your team lost in the last inning",
"Then there was the time when you enthusiastically predicted a Dodgers championship without a hint of sarcasm",
"Once, you had to explain the intricacies of baseball to someone who thought a Dodger is just a stylish way of avoiding something",
"Never try to explain the intricacies of a Dodgers game to someone who thinks that //Dodger Blue// is just a fancy shade of azure",
"You don't know why you buy those season tickets every year",
"You can't imagine missing a Dodger's game",
"Your wallet seems to empty itself magically here",
"You never fail to show up without your home made signs",
"You keep trying to analyze the Dodgers' historical performance",)](text-colour:yellow)[(cycling-link:";",", and", ", or", ", so", ", yet",", but", "; accordingly,", "; after,", "; also,", "; before,", "; besides,", "; consequently,", "; conversely,", "; finally,", "; furthermore,", "; hence,", "; however,", "; indeed,", "; instead,", "; likewise,", "; meanwhile,", "; moreover,", "; nevertheless,", "; next,", "; nonetheless,", "; otherwise,", "; similarly,", "; still,", "; subsequently,", "; then,", "; therefore,", "; thus,") ](text-colour:cyan)+(bg:black)[(cycling-link:
"it's a unique form of torture where suspense is replaced by a barrage of inquiries.",
"it's the intricate dance of social norms and social discomfort that nobody ever taught you.",
"it's a cruel reminder that even the universe needs caffeine to function properly.",
" you only know a brief moment of cardio disguised as a tragic tale of doors closing and dreams shattering.",
" it's a futile exercise in diplomacy, where your argument is as effective as a wet paper bag in a downpour.",
"it's a linguistic labyrinth where home runs and home avoidance sound oddly similar.",
"you are so thrilled that your view is obscured by the towering foam fingers of the fans in front of you.",
"your hot dog tastes suspiciously like disappointment wrapped in a bun.",
"you know it is always a thrilling experience that's essentially signing up for an emotional rollercoaster with no safety harness.",
"this creative endeavor is almost always overshadowed by the towering foam fingers of enthusiastic fans in front of you.",
"they say this is all a comedic act that could earn you a headline spot at the local comedy club.",
"she knows it is a statistical odyssey that's more puzzling than solving a Rubik's Cube in the dark.",)]
''Complex lists. ''(Use semicolons to separate items that already have commas.)
Dodgers fans (text-colour:cyan)[(cycling-link:"hate", "love", "bug other people", "force other people", "get their kids")'' to eat ''(cycling-link: "garlic fries", "Dodger dogs", "helmet nachoes", "motorcycle gangs insignias poached with eggs", "grammar textbooks lightly fried in batter", "used baseball bats with salsa",) , (cycling-link: "California rolls", "street tacos", "bananas", "sweaty baseball gloves", "dirt from the outfield")'', and'' (cycling-link: "peanuts and cracker jacks", "BBQ tacos", "deli sandwiches", "crow pies", "humble pies", "the taste of defeat snatched from victory")''(text-colour:yellow)[; sing] ''(cycling-link: "Hallelujah we got a strike", "Hooray we almost won", "Whoops a daisy"), (cycling-link: "Take me out to the ball game", "Get me out of this ball game", "Take the players out of the ball game")'', and'' (cycling-link: "Don't stop believing", "Definitely stop believing", "Who started believing anyway")](text-colour:yellow)[''; and wave''] (text-colour:cyan)[ (cycling-link: "rally towels", "bath towels", "old rags", "used diapers"), (cycling-link: "flags", "Stars and stripes", "Don't treat on me flags", "white flags of surrender")'', and '' (cycling-link: "babies", "dogs", "cats", "skeletons of fans waiting to win").
]
(text-colour:yellow)[In front of the Confessional
(cycling-link:
"You are pretty sure you know who you are",
"You just don't know how you ended up here",
"This is not where you thought you would be",
"And your life is not what you thought it could become",
"This paper holds everything they think you did",
"You know everything you did",
"You have no idea what they think you did",
"Calculating the odds, you made your choice",
"Everything you have ever been is here now",
"Once, long ago, you vowed never to give up",
"In the shadows of these church doors, you grapple with your conscience",
"You know you should feel guilty",
"But you are convinced you are innocent")(cycling-link:";",", and", ", so", ", yet",", but", "; accordingly,", "; after,", "; also,", "; before,", "; besides,", "; consequently,", "; conversely,", "; finally,", "; furthermore,", "; hence,", "; however,", "; indeed,", "; instead,", "; likewise,", "; meanwhile,", "; moreover,", "; nevertheless,", "; next,", "; nonetheless,", "; otherwise,", "; similarly,", "; still,", "; subsequently,", "; then,", "; therefore,", "; thus,") (cycling-link:
"everyone tells the truth here.",
"no one explains anything here.",
"someone has stolen your soul.",
"it was probably an accident.",
"you are sure it was no accident. ",
"they wouldn't tell you even if they knew.",
"the mystery is always revealed on the last page.",
"the book is missing that last page.",
"you do not reach out for help.",
"after all of that, you can no longer trust anyone.",
"you can trust only yourself. ",
"you can not trust your memories.",
"you can not reach your soul.") ]