What was I doing? I never once asked myself where it would end. Each thing seemed like the last thing at first. I was paying the rent and the gas bill on time. I was washing my whites, boiling water for tea, meditating, taking zinc supplements, toning my abs, lifting the lid of the toilet seat, lifting my hand like the wind. Everything seemed like the end and every time I seemed to be onto something. You listen and look around and pay attention. You wait for a beginning, middle and end, but usually you can't see the end until the beginning comes around again.