Betsey introduced me to St. John's Wort which draws its power from its unusually perforated leaves and I took it in the form of scored tablets or tea.  We made daily tenth steps and gave up white sugar and took field trips to Monterey Bay and Carmel, where we boarded whale-watching vessels and focused our eyes on the horizon.  There was a retarded girl on the boat who laughed if anyone vomited.  Betsey vomited on two occasions but in her story about it later she changed this to three.  I began to meditate every day and saw a recurring image of a mouth opening and closing, not a human mouth. 

I was told to distance myself from my family.

july

Next to our bed, on the windowsill, was a row of white candles.  Let's say our novena she would say, striking a match.